Spiritual solace in dance

If you ask me whether a person who wears luxurious Gucci or sports sensuous Cavalli can be deeply spiritual, I would say, why not?' And while I agree that greed, materialism and bonding with the Divine cannot run completely parallel, I would still maintain, that a person can be sexy, glamorous and yet, intensely spiritual.



The bottom line, however, lies in the level of obsession. If anyone wants to wear designer wear and look glamorous at the cost of something or someone, then it could turn ugly. Otherwise, I can say that some of the most high-flying people I know are very spiritual and do huge acts of charity that no one else even gets to hear about. As for me, however, I'm not personally comfortable about being overly materialistic. I believe that 'true spirituality' is about being able to share. In my life, I know for a fact, that a superior force has guided me all through. Even when I plan something to the last detail, I've found that it happens only the way it is supposed to happen. This, I believe, has a lot to do with my karmic cycle. Even when I made elaborate plans and thought that life was going to be hunky-dory, there was a complete turn of events. Much later, I realised that this was meant to be. It was almost like an external voice saying, 'I run the show'.



When I decided to call it a day in my marriage, I found myself going through one of the most traumatic phases of my life. I was barely 30 and didn't know how to face the world. I would often wonder what I was going to do. I was not trained for anything except for dance and I had moved away from professional dance almost entirely during my marriage.



The turning point for me came in 1986, when an important dance performance was held in Hyderabad, called National Integration Through Performing Arts, which was about music and dance. My guru Kalyanasundaram chose me to represent bharatnatyam. I wasn't sure I could handle that performance, as I was so stressed.



I remember sitting down, closing my eyes and thinking of the supreme power. I said, 'If there is a power that people say exists, then guide me and tell me what to do'. At once, I felt that something or someone told me to go back to dance and I know I have never looked back since. Even today, I can say that dance is where I find spiritual solace. I've also realised when one door closes, another one always opens. The puranas also indicate the success of good over evil. Whatever you do will come back to you and life always takes full circle. Sometimes, it seems like the other person is getting away with it, but he or she will be paying for certain deeds in a way we cannot see or understand. The universe throws back to you what you give it, whether positive or negative.



To me, spirituality is about introspection; spirituality is an inner voice telling me right from the wrong. Spirituality is about understanding the need of others. I don't consciously make the effort to listen to the small voice within me, but that doesn't mean that I don't hear it. I do go to temples, churches, prayer rooms and dargahs. There can never be a formula for happiness. It is a very relative term: what may make me happy may not be the same for someone else. Man is so greedy that when he gets what he thought would make him happy, he does not stop there. His happiness quotient changes. But for me, happiness is when I do things for others and see that satisfaction on their faces. We can't put our life on pause and go on a pursuit of happiness. We just need to look within us, as happiness may be dormant in our bad phases. It just needs a catalyst for it to blossom.



(Vani Ganapathy is a well-known classical dancer)